The Lovely Bones



There is an expression doing the rounds at the moment, which keeps playing on my mind. This isn't unusual for me; I pick up on other people's expressions all the time, often adopting them for my own use. Other times I just let them run round and round my head, probably until something else comes along to take its place. Its quite a distraction, really.

 

I know how you feel, Kylie.

It's not just expressions either. Rhythm and tone also fall prey to my magpie tendencies. If I'm somewhere where the dominant accent is very different to my own, I have to make a conscious effort not to speak back in the same accent. Especially if the accent is Welsh. One episode of Stella  or Fireman Sam and I come over all Dilys Price. (Presh.)

I suppose he is quite appealing.

Still, the expression that is running round and round my head now is not Welsh, it's just a bit weird, or maybe it's only weird to someone with a with a visual mind and a slight tendency to see these things literally, and it literally makes me wince. And, yes, I do mean, 'literally'. It's, 'Ooh, I love the bones of him!' Or her, but it seems to be more often him. If you know what I'm saying.*

Of course, I know that's not what it means. I know it means you love someone so completely, you love them down to their very marrow. But it sounds weird. And why stop at the bones? Why not declare undying affection for his pancreas, or his spleen. 'Ooh, I love his organs!' Hmm...OK, maybe not. I can see how that would get misinterpreted.

 

You couldn't remain impartial about this one.

 

Anyway, if you were going to impress me with an outlandish declaration of love, it wouldn't be my bones you'd have to demonstrate great affection for, oh no. My bones are so-so - much like yours, I imagine. No, if you want to convince me that you're the one, it's my immune system you need to state a liking for, because that's the thing that'll cause you the most grief, believe you me.

 

*small print: I'm saying it seems to be overused by fluffy-talking women.